Friday, October 13, 20063:11 PM
HMM..
Dun bother to read wad I blogged today le.
ALL MY XIN SHI ONLY.
WILL BE BORING AND BO LIAO AND.. YAYAYAYA.
Sumary of today
I dreamt of that guy ytd night. Ahh. Neither * nor j1* but is actually that guy. zZZZ..
I dun even noe why I will dreamt of him when I only lyk met him once and nvr even see hw he really look lyk lo.
NVM. That dream is weird.
Got my maths&geo results.
82 for maths and 64 for geo.
Everybody was scoring lyk 70 for geo and I scored 64.
What if I cant go in the pure geo class?
Mum will be disappointed and Dad will be... haiis.
I think j1* passed his maths.
Happie for him ba. ((:
ANW, if he sees this, got something else needed to tell him.
I will use white font for that. Pls highlight the paragraph below if eu happen to see this.
j1*: Sry for hanging up ur call ytd. I didnt mean to hang up but it is so ridiculous to do wad eu said. Throw away everything that could remind me of him just to forget him? I dun think there is a need ba. HAIIS. STILL, THKS & SORRRY. Thks for staying by my side though eu noe I always make use of eu. =[ Sorry for taking eu as a sub but not the one that I love. Since last yr, I have feelings for eu but somehow it is not love. Maybe is lust, maybe is admire, maybe I am just too dependent over eu. I M SO SORRIE FOR EVERYTHING. If eu cant stand me and wans to ignore me, I wun mind anymore becuz ytd I did not even apologise. I m just lyk that. Eu can nvr change me. I dun think I m the one for eu, as eu can see. I m a flirt. FLIRT. FORGET ME.
HMM..
I wanted to delete * 's ex contact but I think I deleted j2* de instead.
SIAN LA.
I M SO FUCK UP NW.
*&j1*& that guy.
Do I have a crush on him?
Do I actually love him?
I DUNNO AH... =[
I myself dunno the ans for those ques.
AM I really a flirt?
Cant even get over a guy and I oredi make use of him.
AHH..
AHH.
KIWI IS EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL.
This was supposed to be my second entry for the day, but I decided not to create a new entry.
I wished that I could have go into a gurl's school that tym while choosing sec sch.
Crescent girl,St margaret& St theresa were all gurl's school, but GOD did not plan for me to go in there.
He sent me to GESS and frm there, I noe z*.
(Sorry for all the substitutes used for their names. I do not wan anyone of them to feel odd.)
He was the first guy in my sec sch life that managed to touch my heart.
He ain't my first stead but he is the only one that made me realised wad is love.
(Sry to l*&j*, not that I dun love eu but during primary school, it is more of puppy love.)
Though he still hurt me in the end, but this was all my retribution.
I did not treasure him in the first place.
I let go of him without knowing the consequences.
I was totally heartbroken at that tym and I made myself FLIRT.
By doing so, I thot I could forget him.
Had a boyf aft him.
All the long, I did not forget z* at all. I was not happie with the boyf I had.
I was shedding tears every single nite and wasnt comfortable with him at all.
j1* told me to stop acting lyk though I m so strong, but I did not listen to him at all, I continued being so stubborn.
I m evil, I m flirt. =[
I was infatuated by "love" at that tym that I forgotten abt j1* who was always stay by my side.
I felt guilty for that.
Whenever I broke up with my bf, I will call him and when I m fine, I wouldnt even noe his existance.
WANN said that it isnt fair to j1* but I couldnt help myself.
I do not wan to stead with him becuz I dun wan to lose a fren lyk him.
I noe being my boyf doesnt last. He noes everything abt me and we are really too close.
I shldnt hope that he will forgive me or even tok to me again since ytd's incident,
I juz hope that he could really FORGET ME.
I have been repeating myself these few days over the guilt I had over j1*.
Just hope that eu will think carefully of wad I just said.
I noe I hurt eu. I lied to eu.
My last request frm eu is to care for urself and not me nw.
After the end of this yr, I may not be who I am nw.
I dunno how I will changed to, but I will definitely changed.
Hope that * will be happie with the gurl he loves and j1* will find a gurl for him.
As for me, perhaps someone-out-there will be the one for me.
NO WORRIES. ((:
I think I had a crush on someone oso le. So.. YEA.